Um, ok. When I moved to Seattle from Southern California I thought, how nice! Look at everyone, using their turn signals! Blinking lights! Merging! Beautiful!
No. It's not beautiful. It's corrupted.
Why? Because the sense of entitlement on I-5 is blown wayyyyyy out of proportion. As in, the guy you are merging in front of was there first: he is entitled to be in that spot. And no merging low-life is going to take that away from him.
It's almost, really, down to an exact science. The steps being the following:
1. You enter an onramp and accelerate. Like you're supposed to. Based on some, I dunno, retarded traffic law.
2. You reach the flow of traffic and blink your turn signal. (tip: mistake number 1.)
3. Coincidentally you are about to merge directly in front of a jackass.
4. Jackass panics. Jackass has somewhere to be. Jackass is convinced that if there is suddenly an extra car length between jackass and jackass destination that hours will be lost.
5. Jackass speeds up. A lot.
6. You continue to merge, because, what are you doing to do? Stop on the freeway? Slow to a crawl, disrupt traffic, cause a backup and maybe an accident, so that said jackass can pet jackass ego?
7. Jackass becomes enraged at your decision to 'cut jackass off' despite his doubling in speed over the last 0.5 seconds.
8. Jackass honks.
9. Jackass changes lanes to go around you at the first chance, because the next lane over is really faster in rush hour than the one you are in (read: not.)
10. Jackass looks over while passing to convey look of extreme disgust while secretly planning new addition to pre-existing 'freeway voodooo doll collection.'
11. You act oblivious. But you are laughing on the inside. I mean, seriously? Grow up.
No comments:
Post a Comment